it's not my time to go
- 20 Jan 2021
A dedication to all my fellow creatives out there during the Covid-19 pandemic.
This is the end of our normal,
The announcement was made formal.
This is the epic pandemic, disruption to our lives is tragic.
An unleashed minute quarry, amplified into Mother Nature’s latest fury.
No end yet to the depths of this despair, anywhere.
I am so aware of death, this might just be my last breath.
I am so frustrated and annoyingly irritated.
There is nothing, absolutely nothing that I can do.
Where my life is headed, I am without a clue.
No matter how much I learn and read,
There is a limit to my mind feed.
No matter how much I try to my blues beat,
There is a limit to how much I can greet.
No matter how much I go within myself deep,
There is only so much I can bring out from heap.
All this crazy flip-flop, somewhere it has to stop.
There are only dead-ends to everything I think,
I am so exhausted to even blink.
Trying to break free from this gloom-doom sink,
Where, where is that weakest link?
So much to my frustration,
I am miserable even with inspiration.
How long will I aimlessly ramble?
What should I do with this sudden gamble?
Looks like I didn’t read that terms of the bargain,
Thought that I could deal later with the pain.
Have I really kept my part of the deal?
What does this arresting phase have to reveal?
I shall not anyone blame,
For I don’t know the rules of this game.
There is delay over delay.
Resulting in hell to pay.
I am wallowing in utter misery,
What is my future going to be?
Help, I am getting consumed with this nightmare.
Don’t know from where to begin the repair.
Seems so sure that for this frustration there is no cure.
There is not a glimpse of hope,
I wonder how can I cope?
But then there is this increasing radiance inside of me,
Telling me that I will soon be free.
I will redeem myself à la Andy Drusfresne,
Shatter my Shawshank chain.
I open my heart and in surrender to the greater wisdom kneel,
And the layers of confusion dissipate away peel by peel.
Rejuvenated, resurrected, reborn anew,
I step forth marvellously without much ado.
There is no more dependence on the likes of belladonna,
For I now embrace and live true the song by Madonna.
I think I’ll find another way,
There is so much more to know.
I guess I’ll die another day,
It’s not my time to go.